Episode 3.13: “Heart”

(Spoilers lurk below.)

This was an episode that started and ended strong, but had kind of a mishmash of drivel in the middle. But before we talk about any of that, this:

Yes, Brittany and Santana finally share a kiss in this episode (two, actually, but this was the first). I mention this mainly because it is a major milestone in Glee relationships because this relationship has been developed slowly and carefully over the course of the entire series, only culminating in a kiss now. Santana and Brittany are well-developed characters (well, Santana more so than Brittany) that we care about individually as well as together. Their relationship is also amazing for being a lesbian relationship, involving two cheerleaders no less, that has almost completely avoided the cliché of male titillation. None of the male students on the show have commented on two girls together being “hot,” the characters have always been respected as people, and the writing and direction has always focussed on the romance in their relationship rather than the physical side.

You just get the feeling that this is a relationship that the people at Glee respect more than any other. At least, they cared enough to develop it. Tina and Mike are cute together, but their characters just aren’t all that well-defined. Finn and Rachel are supposed to be the power couple, yet they’ve been so all over the map from day one that it’s hard to take them seriously. Finn and Rachel kissed in the pilot, and it took Brittany and Santana until episode 57. Which kiss sounds like they took more care in leading up to?

But that’s enough of me gushing for now. Let’s move on to the episode.

The plot was kind of a Frankenstein affair, sewed up out of a bunch of parts that they apparently didn’t want to give their own episode. The fact that this is the Valentine’s Day episode made them think that they needed to cram all the relationships into it, which resulted in all the plotlines feeling curtailed. They really should have picked a couple of couples and concentrated their A and B plots on them (Finn/Rachel and Santana/Brittany would have been perfect).

So, plotlines schlepping through this episode include the following: Rory and Artie both want to be Sugar’s date to the Valentine’s Day dance, Finn and Rachel are dealing with their parents’ “acceptance” of their decision to get married, Santana fights against religious students who don’t think that same-sex couples should show affection in public, Sam and Mercedes try to figure out where their relationship stands, and Kurt has a secret admirer that turns out (not shockingly) to not be who he assumed. That’s no fewer than five different plotlines, and good luck trying to figure out which is A, which is B, and which are just background.

The plotline that was most interesting was Santana’s, as she shows that not only has she become comfortable with people knowing about who she is, but she has moved on to fighting for her rights and trying to open minds about homosexuals. The “God Squad,” a group of four religious students (Mercedes, Sam, Quinn, and new student Joe) decide to raise funds by delivering singing valentines for ten dollars each. Santana offers ten dollars for them to deliver one to Brittany for her. She does this partly to make the God Squad uncomfortable, partly to act out against Figgins for warning her and Brittany not to show affection in the school, and partly just because she loves Brittany and wants to do something nice for her. Joe is actually an interesting character, for as little screen time as he gets. He’s been home schooled his entire life up until now, and has kind of lived a sheltered life. He claims that he’s never even met a gay person (incidentally, while I was not home schooled, I would have made the same claim at his age). So when he’s confronted with something that he was always taught was wrong, but which appears to be nothing more than two people loving each other, he has to wrestle with his conscience and the beliefs he has been taught his entire life.

At least, that’s the assumption. All we actually see is Joe saying in act three that he needs to think about it, then coming back in act six to say “love is love, man” and that he’s perfectly okay with it. Nice character development, but maybe next time I could see the process?

Santana’s personal fight also feels cut off because, while she won with Joe, her issues with Figgins were never revisited, and the reaction of the rest of the student body was never even explored.

Finn and Rachel’s plotline was… weird. Jeff Goldblum and Brian Stokes Mitchell are fine as Rachel’s dads, though I never did get a good sense of their characters. Despite the fact that they talk all the time, it never seems to be for the purpose of character development. However, it is amusing. Meanwhile, their plot to get Finn and Rachel to reconsider marriage is straight out of early-nineties sitcoms, and just feels incredibly silly and forced. It is especially embarrassing when the episode stops long enough for Hiram and LeRoy to basically explain the plot to the audience, as if we’re all idiots. The Berrys and Hummels (though I don’t know to what extent the Hummels were involved as they barely had anything to do in this episode) decide to try to put Rachel and Finn off the marriage idea by being extremely supportive and forcing the issue, having them spend the night together in Rachel’s room. Their logic is that kids always want to do the opposite of what their parents say and that after a night sharing a room they will realize that marriage is tougher than they thought. This is a plan that would have made even Cliff Huxtable groan, and as long as it’s onscreen it just makes you feel awkward and silly for watching it. Finn and Rachel have a small fight about Finn taking a dump in her bathroom and Rachel not being supportive of Finn’s future, but that whole thing just seems so forced. They make up and announce that they’ve decided to get married in May, “right after nationals.” Wedding season finale, anyone?

Sugar, Artie, and Rory’s plotline actually was kinda fun. I like using Sugar as the girl who makes all the guys crazy, because she is very attractive and because they’ve developed her as kind of a self-absorbed airhead from day one, so she fits the mold. And it finally gave Rory something to do aside from stand around and look Irish. He actually gets down in the mud and fights dirty, lying about losing his student visa at the end of the semester in order to get Sugar’s sympathy. At least, I assume he is lying. In a rare show of restraint, the writers were actually a little subtle about it.

Kurt’s secret admirer turns out to not be Blaine, of course. It’s actually Karofsky, who has decided that he loves Kurt and, even though he hasn’t publicly come out yet, he wants to be with Kurt badly enough to face him about it in a public place. Kurt parries this by saying that Karofsky can’t really “love” him, which acts as a kind of small beacon for an underlying theme of the whole episode. This is high school, for God’s sake. Who knows if love that begins in high school will last? Whether you’re a kid with a crush like Karofsky, or a couple who have been through tons of ups and downs like Finn and Rachel, how can you say if it’s forever? Anyway, Karofsky’s scene with Kurt actually felt real and heartbreaking, and I hope to see a followup soon.

As for Sam and Mercedes… I just don’t care. I mean, who are these characters? They were an official couple on screen for all of ten seconds at the end of “New York.” Their relationship has served as C plot material throughout season three. How are we supposed to believe how they feel about each other? It’s the worst kind of telling and not showing, as we’re just supposed to believe that they had this wonderful fling over the summer, then were apart for several months, then immediately picked right back up on the sexual tension as soon as Sam moved back to town. Give it up, writers. Either that, or give them some development so that I can actually feel what’s going on here.

And all I have to say about Mercedes’s rendition of “I Will Always Love You” is: blech. I don’t like that song anyway, and playing it over those cloyingly emotional scenes was just… ugh.

This episode left a lot of the conflict offscreen. Mercedes breaks up with Shane offscreen. Joe wrestles with his religious beliefs and conscience offscreen. Rachel and Finn’s folks hash out their plan for their children offscreen. Santana’s struggles, aside from the personal one with Joe and the aborted one with Figgins, were not even mentioned. I actually enjoyed the montage of Rory and Artie trying to win Sugar’s affection (as “L-O-V-E” played over), at least partially because it gave me some good onscreen conflict.

What this episode really needed was some plot pruning. There was a lot of great stuff going on here, and I have to admit that the beginning and end of the episode both put a big smile on my face. But some of the weaker material needed to be cut out and the stronger material expanded.

The songs were mostly good but not great. Tina and Mike’s “L-O-V-E” was very entertaining over the montage, and a nice apology for Tina’s “My Funny Valentine” breakdown last year. Sam proved that he can rap at least as well as Will (damning with faint praise indeed). If I had to give the highlight to one song (and I do, apparently), I’d give it to “Cherish/Cherish.” It served as a lovely high point for Santana and Brittany’s relationship, it allowed Joe to find his heart (even if we didn’t see the journey), and it was just a nice song to hear over illustrations of all the relationships going on in this show.